I am sure at some point in life we have all been (or will be) in a situation when we are surprised at the behavior of another person. Perhaps this individual was someone you trusted, admired, worked for, lived with, served in some capacity, and even respected. The relationship may have gone on for weeks or decades it does not matter, you thought the world of them ~ and then it happened.
The colored threads began to unravel and reveal who they really are against the background of who you thought they were – or rather – who they wanted you to believe they were.
Seemingly out of nowhere, their behavior began to display their true essence that left you wondering where it all came from, and the sheer surprise turned into shock and then feelings of being completely baffled. Thoughts may have erupted like…I cannot believe they treated me like this…No one has ever been so rude, mean, harsh, abusive… to me for no reason…Who do they think they are…and that truly is the question is it not?
Who Do They Think They Are?
Do they think they are above the law? Is there an elevated ego here, out of control, that needs to be fed by those they perceive to be less important on the planet? Do they actually believe the lies they tell us and themselves? I think we already know the answer to all of these questions is – yes, they do! The more important question is how do we navigate these turbulent waters when we feel like they are at the helm of the boat wearing the only life vest and we are the servant on a sinking ship?
Here are 3 Tips to Survive and Thrive Through it All:
Intuition – Trust your gut. At the first inkling of their foul behavior, pay attention and take notes! Everybody has a bad day, but are they launching attacks morning, noon, or night every day? Are they artful accusers who try to back people into a corner by barking orders or indictments at them? If so, this is a classic manipulator who does not see the value of people or healthy relationships. Instead they think they have a crown on their head and everyone else has been put here to bow, serve, or applaud them.
Ignite – If you are not sure, ignite the light and hold the flame of truth to examine more closely. It is ok to question their actions or comments. They have probably built a fortress of people around them who have been taught to never investigate, so get ready for the reply – it could be volatile! Shine your light on their erratic behavior and simply ask if what they are saying is what they are intending to say? Sometimes people are not careful with the words they choose and when it is spoken back to them, they see the harsh or abusive tone and are apologetic. Address the behavior – was that done on purpose? A key question to ask ourselves; did they display any sign of remorse? If not, you now know who or what you are dealing with and the next step is up to you!
Initiate – Those of us who may be considered people pleasers may have fallen into relationships like this more frequently than others. Folks who possess a nurturing personality may easily become prey because they believe the best of everyone. They long to give people second, third and fourth chances or more! But at some point, even the most loving people will come to the realization that they are being taken advantage of and must make a change.
When you have that flash of insight there will be confusion, dread, and pain. Pain is a natural motivator for change, and no one is expected to stay in unhealthy situations, so believe it or not – this is a good thing! It can be a very empowering experience to take the first step to break free from fraudulent folks. If you do not make the move to release yourself from their grip, it will only get worse. You have the power to make the change ~ embrace it and run with it! Literally…RUN…with it! Those who genuinely care about you will be cheering you on and now, the authentic individuals you are supposed to meet, can enter your life.
The moral of the story is this:
When Someone Shows You Who They Really Are – Believe Them!